Clash of Chaos and Confetti 22: Bears vs. Babies

The Premise and Standings

Each week we’ll face off in a best of three series playing a different board game from our collection.  The winner claims the moniker of C&C Clash Champ for the week.  The loser can take a hike in the woods.  The lesser player also gets to choose the game for the next week.

We will maintain a record of wins and losses throughout the year to see who finishes 2022 as the ultimate board game champ in our household.

Our current C&C Champion is Chaos after winning last week’s Splendor showdown.

Pre-Clash Current Standings:

  • Weekly Winner: 11 Chaos – 10 Confetti
  • Individual game wins:  32 Chaos – 26 Confetti

After losing last week, Confetti has chosen Bears vs. Babies.

The Game – Bears vs. Babies

In Bears vs. Babies, babies will be attacking by land, sea, and air!  It’s up to the players to build armies of monsters strong enough to defeat the baby armies.  This isn’t cooperative play though.  Only the player with the stronger monster army can claim the points awarded after each baby battle.

In order to take on the baby menace, players will build monsters using cards.  Each monster must start with a head, and then players increase their power by adding bodies, arms, legs, and more.  The more parts a monster has, the better it will be in combat and the more likely it is to bring home some points.

The babies come in three varieties: land, sea, and sky.  Monster heads come in those same varieties.  When the babies attack, all monsters who match that type, including bears who are all types, must join in the fray.  If the babies are most powerful, nobody wins their points.  If a player has the strongest power they claim the win and the points printed on the defeated babies.  No matter who won or what different power levels were present, all monsters in the fight will be discarded.  This means players will have to carefully decide when to pick a fight with babies and when to provoke them just to wipe out an opponent’s army.

During their turn, a player has a few options.  They can take up to four actions (playing and drawing cards) OR provoke a type of baby to start a fight OR draw one card from the discard pile.  This process of building and fighting will continue until the draw decks run out.  Then, players will each get one more turn before calling it a game and counting their points.

The game consists of carefully deciding how much power to place on the board at any one time and deciding when it’s the best time to provoke a baby battle.  If you can figure out the right balance, then the title of best baby beater can be yours!

* Quick Note: Our 9-month old baby says this game is offensive to babies and he hopes we both get crushed.  Then, he demanded we feed him in order to remind us that while we may play games where we can beat babies, in reality, we work for an unconquerable baby.

Chaos’ Pre-Clash Thoughts:

After months of doing everything I can to protect a baby, I must now go against my programming to fight a bunch of babies.  I walk into this clash a champion, but I must walk out a monster (and hopefully still a champion).  Hopefully my conscience can BEAR the weight of my actions.  For victory at all cost!

Confetti’s Pre-Clash Thoughts:

This game seems weird.  Maybe something weird is what I need to win.  Not sure how I feel about fighting babies, but I’ll just pretend they’re robot babies.  Here’s hoping for the best.

Game 1:

The first game saw both players throwing together wacky monsters as the baby armies amassed steadily.  A pile was never allowed to get too big though as the battles came frequently.  Chaos won several small skirmishes, but Confetti continuously claimed larger assaults, sometimes as big as seven or eight points.

The game’s lead provoker was Confetti, who started almost every battle whether by choice or by drawing a provoke card.

While mowing through three draw decks seems like quite a bit, the game rushed by and soon there was no more battling to do.  Counting points revealed that Confetti did a better job of calling her shots and using her monsters where they mattered most.  Her final score trounced Chaos’.

Game 1 Winner: Confetti

Game 1 Score: Chaos 14 – Confetti 24

Game 2: 

With one game already against him, Chaos found himself on the ropes and under pressure.  He knew he had to do a better job of building monsters strong enough to win but not throwing away unnecessary power on small arms.  Chaos also had to do a better job of provoking babies at appropriate times.  Letting Confetti pick the times of battle may have given her too much control of the game.

Confetti felt good with a win, but she also knew that she couldn’t rest until the championship was concretely back in her possession.  Like last game, she carefully weighed her power against Chaos’ and then compared that to the possibility of defeating a baby army.  

This game, the babies were slow to emerge which meant both players ended up with huge armies.  Chaos and Confetti ended up both being hesitant to start a fight since it would be a sacrifice of massive power for minimal return from small baby stacks.  At last, Confetti provoked the sky babies.  At only eleven fight the babies were an easy opponent, but as Confetti went to claim her points, Chaos stopped her.  He actually had one more sky power than she did.  

Confetti immediately protested saying she counted his power and hers was bigger.  A quick recount later, proved that he had made a mistake.  Her eyes had missed a bear card, which acts as all fight types, and which gave Chaos the one point advantage on power.

Screwing herself out of eleven points did not make Confetti a happy camper.  Thankfully, that anger was mostly taken out on the babies.  Chaos grabbed a few more points here and there, but Confetti dominated the rest of the game.

Unfortunately, she had given Chaos too much of a lead and he was able to grow that just enough to win this game and stay in the Championship Clash.

Some may say Confetti beat herself.  Chaos says that a win is a win and he’s hungry for another.

Game 2 Winner: Chaos

Game 2 Score: Chaos 17 – Confetti 15

Game 3: 

The final game started and it was an all out baby busting brawl.  This time neither player hesitated to dismember one another’s monsters or to provoke baby battles just to burn their opponents’ armies.  Swaps and lullaby cards which had previously either been left unused or simply thrown out for fun became pieces of larger strategies.  

Finally, Chaos took more initiative in starting battles.  Confetti tried to take advantage of power tools in order to increase her number of actions in order to give her as much control as possible.  The babies again had a mind of their own and came out in spurts and sputters.  Sometimes the players swung as waves of babies and other times they felt it was better to just grab what they could.  

As the dust finally settled, one player emerged victorious.  Chaos!  This time around, he won the battle all by himself and there was nothing Confetti could do about it.

Game 3 Winner; Chaos

Game 3 Score: Chaos 21 – Confetti 16

Your Winner and STILL C&C Clash Champion: Chaos!!!

Chaos’ Post-Clash Thoughts:

I did it!  It may not have been the most dominant or decisive win of all time, but I still hold the title of C&C Clash Champion, and that is all that matters to me!  If I can successfully defend the title one more time next week, I’ll set a new record for most title retentions in a row.  I’m calling my history making win now, and I’ll see Confetti for another clash next week!

Confetti’s Post-Clash Thoughts:

I should have known I wouldn’t be the best at fighting babies.  Sometimes I can barely keep up with my own baby at home.  Sigh.  On to next week

New Standings:

Post-Clash Standings:

  • Weekly Winner: 12 Chaos – 10 Confetti
  • Individual game wins: 34  Chaos – 27 Confetti

Next Week:
Find out who the top banana is in Bananagrams

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