Bonded with a Boardgamer

There are many elements that contribute to a solid and healthy relationship.  We here at Chaos and Confetti in no way claim to be relationship experts or love gurus.  However, we do have a little bit of experience under our belts.  We’ve been in a relationship for about six years and married for almost four.  We’ve had many highs and also plenty of moments of growth.  

One thing we can say for certain though is that having similar hobbies and interests can be a great boon for any relationship.  We have plenty of our own interests that we sometimes like to bore the other person with (mostly kidding), but our common ground in hobbies has often given us a mutual core to draw enjoyment and quality time from.

Is it all good though?  Today, we’d like to delve into the pros and cons of being in a relationship with a fellow boardgamer.  Is it all cardboard cuddles and cuteness or are there some bad rolls along the way?  

Let’s take a look!

Pro: The Go-to Pastime

If you’re both into board games, it provides a wonderful option for spending time together.  Your list of hangout/date options hopefully includes plenty of other choices as well but there is nothing wrong with having the solid constant of board games.  Whether it’s just the two of us or a get together with friends, we’ve put in many quality hours with boardgames.

Having a shared hobby that you both enjoy and get excited about is great and allows for a lot of quality time.  Shared interests and values are important to building a strong foundation in any relationship, so why not allows boardgames to be part of that foundation?

Pro: Gifts

This is a positive on multiple levels.  When you both love board games, that becomes an easy gift for each other.  Even better, you already know what the other person owns and you know the kind of games they would appreciate.  Finding that right gift can be challenging, but thanks to your shared gaming interest, you’ll be taking on this challenge on easy mode.  

One of the cool things about gifting board games is unless it’s a purely solo game, you’re probably going to get to play it with them too.  That means your gift to them is low-key a gift for you as well.  Wins all around!  Just make sure you’re actually shopping for them and not just you.

*Do be careful though.  One year, we both heard about a game we knew would be perfect for the other person.  We ended up swapping copies of T.I.M.E. Stories with each other for Valentine’s Day.  We got a good laugh and then exchanged one of our copies for an expansion.  

Con: What Budget?

When Chaos decides he could use more comics or action figures, Confetti is there to reign him in a bit.  When Confetti decides our baby needs more clothes or that she needs more baking supplies, Chaos can remind her that she doesn’t need everything.  Relationships can have an internal checks and balance system that really helps with keeping a budget and not ending up in the poorhouse.  

However, when you both share the same hobby and get excited about the same games, it is a lot harder to keep each other in check.  We both want it, so why not?  It only takes a little encouragement from both sides to seem like a good idea.  Wallets beware!  

Pro: Constant Companion

One of the biggest woes that seems to befall many gamers we know or encounter is the difficulty of getting a group together.  When you’re in a relationship with a fellow board gamer, you always have someone to play with (assuming they’re in the mood).  

This is especially great for cooperative, campaign, and legacy games.  We’ve heard a lot of gaming groups bemoan the fact that weeks or months can sometimes pass between sessions, which can really cause campaigns to lose steam.  Living together, we’re able to play multiple times a week sometimes.  The Pandemic Legacy games lasted about a week each for us, and Gloomhaven, which some people take years to get through, took a few months, but we eventually made it through all the content.

It’s great having that regular teammate available for games.    

Con: The Competitive Aggression

Getting to game is great, but it’s even better when you win.  Unfortunately, unless you stick to purely cooperative games, someone also needs to lose.  Usually, when you play games with someone there is some space between gaming sessions.  In a relationship, especially when you live together, the cardboard clashes can come regularly and it is easy for tempers to flare.

Real comments from our gaming table: “You didn’t tell me that rule, you’re cheating!”  “You knew I needed that scallion, why would you buy it just to mess with me?” “I hate playing this with you because you always win.”  “You’re being mean!”

There’s a reason that we’ve had to inject a lot of cooperative games into our gaming library and play routines.  It’s good to take our aggressions out on a shared opponent instead of each other.    

Pro: An Epic Gaming Library

When your lives mix, so do your gaming libraries.  Sometimes there are some redundancies to work out, but for the most part, your possessions merge into one great library of games!  If either of you get a new game, boom! You both have access to a new game.  It’s wonderful to have so many options.  

Con: (Limited) Space Invaders

No matter how much space you think your home has, when you need to fit in two people’s possessions, it can seem a bit limited.  Two people’s, or a whole family’s, game collection can get pretty big very quickly.  Shelves fill up quickly, but there are still so many great board games that need buying and playing!

Do you allow your home to become a board game warehouse or do you begin to cull your collection?  Each couple will have to make their own decisions and hopefully they’re on the same page about it.  Either way, two people can definitely expedite the issue of limited space.

Pro: They Just Get It

Far too often, we’ve seen people who try to force their interests on their significant others.  While there is nothing wrong with wanting to share your passions and hoping to let someone into your space, nobody needs to force someone else to watch every episode of their favorite show, go to every event they like, or similar endeavors.  

Thankfully, when your interests already start off with some overlap, it can be easier to move forward together than with one person dragging the other behind them.  We still expose one another to different aspects of gaming, and sometimes we do have to shrug our shoulders and go, “I guess that’s not for you,” but we often still get where the other person is coming from. 

The Wrap Up:

No matter where your interests overlap and where you have to bridge those gaps, we hope your relationships of all kinds are doing well and bringing joy into your life.  Feel free to share any pros and cons you think we might have missed, or that you feel really speak to you.

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